Dealing With Lack of Emotional Support From Parents (Narcissistic Parents)
Our parents created us before we came to this world. Most of us were also raised by our parents, but that doesn't mean that everyone always got the support they needed. Not all of us were praised when we achieved something great or were given the love we deserve. Not every parent has stood by their child for them to strive and do better and to go after their dreams. There are parents who show little interest in the activities and dreams their child has.
Many children will try their best to make their parents feel proud of them. They want to be recognized for the things they do. Sadly sometimes no matter how hard they try, no matter how great they are or what they do, it doesn't seem to be enough. Sometimes it could even make them doubt themselves, thinking "Am I really good enough?".
Some parents praise their children to other people, but don't act the same way towards them. Only to make themselves appear to be a good parent who has it all together. So why are they the way they are?
Many factors could play a role here. Either the parent(s) lacks the experience of being recognized themselves for the things they did or how they were as a child and/or they are too egocentric that they just don't care that much, but more about themselves. And/or they even could be jealous of their childs' success.
If the parents experienced a lack of recognition when they were younger from their parents, there is a 50/50 percent chance that when they become an adult themselves, they also become somewhat emotionally unsupportive of their children. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad parents. Not all parents who have experienced a situation like this have a clear insight on what they're doing is wrong.
They didn't grow up being praised for the good things they did, therefore they didn't learn how to copy good child-care behaviour when they become parents themselves. Some don't know hów to show emotional vulnerability, because it's something they don't know. They feel uncomfortable giving love back to their children in the way the child desires.
Some people are simply less empathetic than others, especially narcissists. Narcissists can't feel the same about love and empathy like other people. These people live more and care more for themselves than anything else.
Never try to make others ór your parents realize your worth if they can't see it or show it. This is something many children from emotionally unavailable parents struggle with. It's emotionally draining and the end result might not give the desired satisfaction. Instead, focus on yourself and your goals. The right people will support you, whomever that may be.
If your parents are too focused on themselves, forgive them. When you can forgive someone, even when they were in the wrong, you become the upperhand power. Give yourself the blessing to heal in the best possible way by forgiving. It doesn't excuse their behaviour, but it will heal you from hurt and disappointment.
There are parents who are too jealous to show affection and be proud of how amazing their children are. It can be because they have a talent that they wish they had too or perhaps their child has the chance to do something unique, while they never had the opportunity. It could have to do with lifestyle, looks, finances or many other things.
Some people tend to get stuck and become victimized because of the lack of emotional support from their childhood, but you should never let other people get in the way of your future and where you are going. Don't create your future based on the past, for that the future will only replicate past circumstances.
Instead, keep climbing up the ladder and use past hurt to become wiser and create a better future for yourself. Don't forget that everything happens for a reason and so there is a great reason why you went through what you went through. Utilize your past circumstances to evolve in the best way you can and to become even more amazing.