Why Certain People Ignore or Downplay Your Hard Work and Talents


We tend to work so hard and invest a lot of time and energy into the things that mean a lot to us and thus naturally, we want others to recognize our efforts and applaud us for all that we do. It is fair to say that it is nice to hear someone say “well done” or “great work” after putting in hours on end to finish a project you care so much for. But if you always  expect your colleagues, family or friends to tell you how much they admire you for all that exertion, you will most likely end up feeling quite disappointed. This is because we often expect too much from other people and we also tend to seek excess approval for who we are, what we do and our accomplishments in life - which goes to say that if we would be more concerned about our own approval regarding our investments and creations while being less worried how others perceive them, chances are we would not only be a lot happier and at peace, we would also have a lot more energy at stake to persevere and become even more successful than we already are.

“You can be great, but not better than me”

Wanting or seeking approval from other people in your life in some cases is one of the worst things you can possibly do, not because you are not deserving of being accepted by others, being treated nicely or receive compliments, but simply because too many times people can not show genuine appreciation for someone who is doing amazing or better than themselves. A lot of people are in fact hypocrites, they will say or even tell themselves they want the best for someone else, but the moment they see another person achieving more success than they do, they feel envious and become bitter and even jealous. It is all fun and games so to speak until someone runs off winning, that is the case for most people or at least how their mind is wired. This is obviously an ego problem that also shows selfishness and sometimes even narcissism, when one lacks sympathy or compersion when it comes to observing someone else’s happiness and bliss. In essence, a great deal of why someone or multiple people in your life might not praise or give you the recognition you deserve is more than likely because they are jealous and wish they had more success in their own life or the success you have. Note and remember that a person who is happy with their own successes and failures is less likely to ignore, degrade or trivialize someone else’s attainments and victories. Such people are way too busy celebrating themselves and what they have to offer, in comparison to losers who see themselves as victims and as a result can not stand seeing others thriving and experiencing what they consider wish fulfillment. Additionally, a person who’s a true winner has the important habit of counting their own blessings, rather than looking at what the person next to them is doing.

They fear your power because they see your strength

Sometimes and probably much more often than we are aware of, people see things in us we fail to see within ourselves. There are people who naturally exude a lot of power and who are natural born leaders. That is without a doubt a God given talent of which not everyone is blessed with. Some view such individuals as a threat, because to have a powerful aura means to have or project authority unto others and have people acknowledge and see your importance and greatness. These people have the ability to set rules and regulations, to have others follow and listen to them for guidance, wisdom and help. This all pertains to great affluence, power, competence, genius and credence of one self. All of this can trigger and evoke insecurity, jealousy and also possessiveness over one’s own abilities and rule-or mind-set,  because either consciously or unconsciously there is a fear or losing their own imaginary power over someone who is more well established or has acquired more credible fore-and insight. To lose power means to lose dignity and pride in many people’s eyes and a lot of people do not like that, hence the survival mechanism to defend oneself will nearly always come into play, whether that is to defend an argument, act or opinion, a person who does not want to lose will do whatever it takes not to lose, even if it means to be wrong when doubting their own conclusion while suggesting they are right. The matter of fact is that most people like to have or be in power themselves and to witness a lot of power within someone else can thus be intimidating, however that only pertains to those who are insecure and lack self-confidence. One who knows themselves and knows what they bring to the table has no fear for another who is just as capable or more powerful than himself in specific regards.

People have regrets and wish they did better

There are plenty of people who are now in their thirties, forties, fifties and even much older who desperately wish they had “done things differently”. How many times throughout your life have you heard, especially an older person, say “I wish I did this..” or “if I had just done that..”? The truth is that the world is full of older people who have regrets they did not take a chance on their wildest vision or childhood fantasy and just totally went for it. Most people have big dreams and goals, even if they do not talk or mention about it much in public, everyone secretly wants to live their biggest heart’s desires, but not everyone gets to realize or experience them while they are still alive. For one reason or another, a significant number of people will never see their biggest wishes come into fruition and for many that hurts eventually or at least will leave some sort of stain on their life or self-identity. It is for those who live their life on a regular basis with regrets about their past mistakes or own perceptive failures about what they did or did not do, that showing support and saluting someone else who has made a big impression, received great honour and admiration and did made their dreams come true, a lot harder. An individual who is in pain about their respective failures can find it hard to bring up positive emotions and sincere delight for someone who has done the job to meet their end goal, just because they find themselves still stuck in their past. It is often not these people’s malevolent intention to not express glory or prestige towards you, as there is more so still the presence of a wish to have their unexplored or unattained desires fulfilled.

They feel they never got a real chance or opportunity

It is safe to say, according to my personal belief, that some people were born luckier than others. There are people who seemingly were put on Earth with a silver spoon in their mouth; they have the looks, intelligence, health, parents, social circle, education, money, while others are simply deprived of these. Most of us look at this being unfair, with the thought that we all should at least have the money or resources to live a notable, fortunate life. I agree with that particular thought to a certain extent, of which I will not go into further explicable detail. However because of this, there are many people who believe that due to lacking certain resources, manifesting their ideals is an impossible or difficult act to obtain. This inhibits certain individuals to not even try or put in all their operational strength because of fear of not succeeding and meeting a dead end. Also in such cases and for these people, it can be hard to show affection or sympathy for people who have had it a lot easier in certain areas of life. It is understandable that it is not always an easy task to notice someone else having what you always desired or to be the one who has to watch from the sidelines while watching others getting what you want or wanted to do or have, but it is nevertheless up to ourselves how we view our life conditions and how we navigate through them. We can not and nobody can change anything for us unless we first decide to look at our circumstances differently and become open for changes to happen before they can happen. That is the lesson these people need to be aware of and must take into consideration. No person's life is perfect, not even of those who on the outside seem to have it all. But someone who has a grateful heart will be able to look beyond their imperfections and still be happy for those who are prosperous and blooming. 

Some are simply more concerned with their own accomplishments

Not to forget there are also those who really could care less what you are up to or what you are doing, not because they necessarily are selfish or bad people, it is just that they are more involved with their own life. Some people are plain as simple heavily focused on themselves as a main priority and this of course can manifest itself in different ways; one person for example might be this way because they personally experienced other individuals not acknowledging or showing appreciation towards them for their work or skills, while another person may just naturally be someone who is more attentive towards  themselves and their own pursuits. We should always bear in mind, especially when desiring attention or recognition, that although we crave or want appreciation or validation, it does not mean we should expect it at all times or from anyone for that matter. Because we are all different people, not everyone is capable of giving it to you or will want to give it. We can not expect nor command people to be a certain manner towards us, if they inherently are not designed to behave in that particular way. Let's say you find that someone treats you unfairly, then you can either make it known to them that you do not accept that sort of behaviour and accept whatever the consequences of that will be or you can choose to not further entertain the interaction or connection. What I am saying is that certainly to a certain extent we are capable of influencing others' behaviour towards us, but only if they are open or willing to doing so. That goes to say that we should never condemn people for not giving us what we feel we deserve from them, if they are not capable to or are not concerned about it for some reason, for that it is important to respect others for who they are and are not. That is also how you will keep your peace without being affected if you feel overlooked or taken for granted in any way.

Focused attention in the wrong direction = failure

How others respond to you about what you are doing is their choice of action, but how you yourself are responding to the situation is all on you. If you choose to let it have a negative impact on you because you care so much about it, then inevitably you will feel bad and perhaps even unmotivated to continue delivering outstanding missions and performances. You can only control your own perception about things and when you control your perception in the right direction, not only is it going to be much more likely that people will respond to your craft and your proficiency in a more positive way, you will also be less busy thinking or hoping for the “right” approval. It is not your job to wait or beg people to look up and say to you “wow, you are doing great!”, your only job is to know that you are doing great. When you know that you are great and are doing a great job, what else is there to lose? There is nothing to lose! The outside world and people around us mirror back our deep inner feelings and thoughts we have about ourselves, thus when you focus your attention on the problem, you gain nothing you only lose more. You do not want to lose any more of your precious energy focusing on things that do not matter anyway (because it really does not). I would not obviously say it is “fun” or “pleasant” for people to disacknowledge your triumphs and endeavors, but does it really matter that much? It does not, because the ones who do care are the people who deserve to see all that you are and all that you do. Those who do not will not care to see and engage with it, because their energy and purpose is focused on other objectives and that is perfectly fine. You may not be able to influence thousands or hundreds of millions of people, but you are able and you will always catch the attention of the right people for you. The ones who will walk the distance with you are the ones who belong on your path. Focus on those individuals that do express how much they value and appreciate your excellence, as that is all that is needed to propel you forward where and with whom you need to be.