Severing Ties Within a Dysfunctional Family Dynamic


Many people find themselves stuck within a toxic or dysfunctional family dynamic. When your emotional and/or physical needs are not met, that is dysfunctional. The definition of a dysfunctional family could signify multiple things. Perhaps there is emotional or physical abuse or both. A family that functions well emotionally on the other hand, is a group of people who share the same view and values on giving and receiving love within the dynamic.

Some people find it difficult knowing how to handle these type of relationships. We can always choose our friends, but we can't choose our family members. When we are adults, we have the right and option to choose whether we want to continue relationships or to continue life without them.

Everyone has their right to do whatever makes them happy as an adult, even if that means to break contact. If that's what one has to do to find more peace and balance in life, then it's a need to follow the heart and intuition and do what it tells you is the best for you.

There are a few things you must think about and consider when you do this;

1) Are you emotionally ready to continue life without them?

2) Are you financially independent to provide for yourself?

3) Are you sure that it is the right choice?

You can start by breaking contact by just removing them from social media. Sometimes that is enough to create the desired distance. When they notice that, they will know you want to distance yourself from them. It's up to you whether to unfriend or block them from your social media, do whatever feels most comfortable to you.

Another way is to simply tell them what's wrong and that you don't want to stay in contact no longer. I do suggest not doing that in most cases. People usually don't suddenly change their ways of thinking and behaving overnight, if ever sometimes. Chances are you probably have been dealing with these issues for a long period of time, so it's high likely that things will not just change if you would try to explain them about the "why" and your feelings. 

Unfriend/unfollow from social media or even block their phone number. If you want to hold a possibility to reunite and harmonize the relationship in the future, keep a way in mind so that they can still find a way back to you via social media or other channels.

If you have financial problems or if you're not financially secure, save money for a while. Don't spend money on things you don't really need or things that could wait. The more you have aside, the more stable you will feel financially as well as emotionally. It will take away part of the stress that you might already deal with. You also might need to consider looking for a second job or new stream of income anywhere in your area or online in order to provide and take care of yourself.

Once you are in a stable place to break contact with your family member(s), you will probably feel a great sense of relief. Perhaps you will feel better than you have in a very long time, since we are înevitably influenced by the energy and people surrounding us. We all know it can be hard to feel positive when you are surrounded by people that bring your energy down.

If you feel stuck, depressed or just unhappy with these people in your life because they hurt you, call you names, whatever the case is, then it is for the better to get yourself out of that situation. Don't feel sorry or bad for them, your happiness is what's most important. You will know when you got people that you can count on and have your best interest at heart when they show that they care and give love back the way you do.